I wrote this blog post two years ago in July 2012;

Sometimes I find it excruciatingly difficult to get out of bed in the morning. This morning for example – 2 hours from first alarm to feet on the ground – the exact time I had planned to be at work already. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on myself – it is Monday after all, but it’s not like this only happens on Mondays. For me it seems to get worse as the week progresses. I’m off to a great start.

I guess it was just difficult to find a reason to get up. My mood was low when I went to bed last night and sleep didn’t seem to reset it. Thinking about being late for work didn’t even motivate me! That’s a whole other problem. At the end of it all I just had to make a decision – I could stay in bed and feel sorry for myself that I felt so awful I couldn’t get out of bed or I could decide to do something positive. I didn’t kid myself that I would feel any better if I got up – I allowed myself to still feel awful – but I knew that I didn’t really have any choice as staying in bed is not a long-term solution for anything, really.

So now I’m up and procrastinating by writing a blog post. My breakfast is finished and I really should get to work. Tonight I’m going to look after myself so that I have the best chance of feeling good in the morning. If not, I know that I can still choose to act in a way that I want, however I’m feeling, however much bed seems like the safest place.

Oh my how things change! For the record I still find it difficult to get out of bed due to my chronically low blood pressure, but that is the ONLY thing holding me back. I love waking up in the morning now. I wake up next to The Silver Fox who gently coaxes me awake – oftentimes with the promise of a cup of tea in the kitchen (he used to bring it to me in bed, but then realised that was counter-intuitive!)

The other joyful change is my mood – I no longer suffer from clinical depression or anxiety, and since it’s been a few years now, I know that it’s not just a momentary upswing but instead my new normal.

But I really like how I dealt with it that morning – I was kind to myself even amongst the shit and I think that’s one of the secrets to happiness – being kind to yourself and letting yourself be even when you’re being a bit recalcitrant and moody, like I was that morning.