In Rowan Williams’ book “Being Disciples: Essentials of the Christian Life”, his last chapter is entitled “Life in the Spirit”, and what I have to say is largely based on this chapter and some of the other things I have been thinking about and experiencing over the last few months.
Paul, in this well-known reading from Galatians, gives us an idea of what life in the Spirit looks like, a life oriented towards God. He lists virtues that are good for individuals and good for communities – love, joy, peace, self-control, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, patience – making clear that they are fruits, or gifts, of the Spirit. We don’t orient ourselves towards these gifts, we orient ourselves towards God, and the Spirit of God, by grace, gifts us with these fruits – we are transformed through our relationship with God. On the other hand, the list of vices are the result of a life which is isolated from God, oriented away from God. It is not that, as Christians, we are now convinced that some things are not so good and other things very good, as Paul says, the list is obvious… they are not good for individuals and not good for communities, but the message of the gospel is that through faith we are transformed by God into wholeness – it is that our very desires are transformed through our relationship with God. So, actually, though this text has often been used to admonish and moralise, I believe that its use in that way is exactly the opposite of what it’s trying to achieve. Knowledge of good and evil isn’t going to save us – only God’s action in the gospel is sufficiently powerful to rescue us from sin. Spirituality, life in the Spirit, is about coming alive in Christ – alive to our true selves – alive to the self that God created and who we are meant to be, something that takes a lifetime.
The question that Rowan Williams discusses in his chapter, then, is what we’re talking about when we say “coming alive in Christ”? He suggests four dimensions as a sort of trail to follow in developing spiritual maturity. They are self-knowledge, stillness, growth and joy, and I want to briefly explore how they are pursued by embracing a practice of meditation or contemplation.
Firstly, I must say that, in essence, meditation as a Christian practice is mostly a mystery. Somehow, over time, a deep transformation occurs out of a regular practice where there is often no discernible change in oneself at the end of each session. I am still quite a novice in meditation, and I feel like I spend most of the time realising that I’m not meditating at all, and bringing myself back to attention… only to find myself in that cycle again and again and again. But nevertheless, out of an imperfect practice has come insight and glimpses of the divine which I can’t explain. The first dimension, self-awareness, is about knowing what is keeping us human – to hear our names spoken by God. When we hear our names spoken by God we know we exist, live and flourish – God is creating us in each minute, breathing our names into the world. We have to step back from our pre-conceived notions of ourselves – what other people are saying about us, what we are saying about ourselves and be open enough to hear what God is saying about us. And for that we need stillness, the second dimension, and this is what meditative prayer calls us to. Rowan suggests that the real problem in prayer is not the absence of God but the absence of us – we are so distracted and irritated by our own thoughts that there is no space for us to be with God. As we still ourselves we become more likely to be able to hear God speaking our name – to hear God calling our true selves into existence, creating us in that moment. It is this calling that reveals the third dimension – growth.
God is always calling us into life – calling us ahead. We will never stop growing. If we fear change and yearn for stability, we will be disappointed. There is always more to life with God than what we presently know. God will stretch us and challenge us as we grow in faith… but once again this isn’t anything to do with our own efforts, it’s not about us straining forward, or trying to “level up” our spirituality. It’s just that by making space for God, God will surprise us. Being in relationship with God means that we will be called forward – pushed, pulled, enlarged – towards a newness of life in Christ.
And what joy that brings – our fourth dimension. Joy – that sense that we are connected to something so real, part of something so big, that it can’t be contained. Joy is the delight of living life even though it’s painful. Joy is knowing that we are being made by God, loved by God, even though we have done nothing to deserve it. It’s joy in the genuine freedom that Paul says we are being called to – a freedom that un-yolks us to the values of this world and orients us in God, made present to us in Jesus, and experienced here and now as we learn to be still and let God break through to us here exactly where we are. Amen.
Helen Travers 